From ShamWow to the Hoosegow!

I don't know if Vince, that famous one-squint-eyed "ShamWow" TV pitchman, tried to use a line from his newest "SlapChop" commercial -- "You're really going to like my nuts" -- but he, along with a thousand bucks, did manage to coax a liquored-up hooker into his South Beach, Miami hotel room for what was supposed to be a little straight sex. I'm really surprised that such a fantastic TV pitchman like Vince wasn't able to cut a better deal than a $1000 for a drunked-up romp. Either she wasn't that drunk or he was totally wasted. Looking at the picture above, I'm thinking that the latter is probably the truth!

During the "act," Vince apparently decided to try out another one of his pitches and he pulled a Gene Simmons, of Kiss fame, tongue act on her. I think out of sheer horror, she chomped down and just wouldn't let go. I'm sure she felt like she was in the midst of that conception scene in the movie, Rosemary's Baby.

Vince, then, proceeded to beat the hell out of her until she let go of his mouth snake. Once freed, he ran to the cops and, then, to Vince's shock, they decided to arrest both he and the hooker. The cops only managed to retrieve $930 from the hooker's purse. That's 70 bucks shy of the $1000 that Vince claimed he gave her. Maybe, the missing $70 was for a "ShamWow" and "SlapChop" combo deal, plus shipping and handling, that Vince pitched her before having any sex? I'll bet that's it!

When I saw this story, I guess I wasn't too shocked. Somehow, I just couldn't imagine Vince as the family guy with a little woman at home who's SlapChopping all ingredients together to make a home made apple pie. I was, however, surprised to see him without that tube mike in front of his mouth. All along, I was starting to believe that it was an actual appendage.

It's nice to see that Vince isn't just a work-a-holic and that he is able to enjoy some really serious downtime. It's just too bad that a hooker's reputation had to be destroyed in the process.

Both Vince and his "date" were eventually let go with no charges being filed.

The image and the original story is from the Smoking Gun website (Click To See Real Story)

Note: The highlighted "ShamWow" and "SlapChop" references in the first paragraph are popup YouTube links to the original "ShamWow" commercial and a remixed, comedic version of Vince's "SlapChop" commercial.