New York Times Shocker: Marco Rubio Is A Murderer!

Recently, the New York Times, after talking with Marco Rubio's pest control person, discovered that Marco authorized the execution of untold numbers of Palmetto bugs (roaches) in and around his Florida home. Horror of horrors! Marco the murderer!  Marco the killer!

Of course, this is just a tongue-in-cheek piece of fiction on my part.  But, it could very well have happened with the way that the New York Times has been treating Rubio in print these days.

Two weeks in a row, Marco has been the target of a hit piece by this nation's best known and liberal newspaper.

First, there was the story of the "lead foot" Rubio's with 17 traffic violations between them in the last 10 years. Four of which were by Marco and 13 by his more "criminal" wife. Unfortunately, the "Times" could catch him using his influence to fix those tickets but, the fact that he even got them was criminal enough.  By contrast, Hillary is a saint when it comes to driving. Maybe, because, she hasn't driven a car since 1996, and, my guess is that she thinks a chauffeur, who opens the door for her, comes standard on all cars.

Then, the "Times" went after him for his management of his expenses.  A crime that all of us are probably guilty of.

But, they found his truly "capital felony" was the purchase of a sport fishing boat for $80,000 which the "Times" called a speed boat as to infer that Rubio was racing around Florida harbors; tipping over other boats in his wake with his lead hand on the gas.  Obviously, if you have a lead foot on land, you're sure to have one on the water.  The truth is  that he modestly lavished himself with a recreational boat after receiving an $800,000 advance to write about his life growing up as a son of Cuban immigrants. Has anyone watched 'Dexter'?  I think if a murdering blood splatter specialist working for Miami-Dade can afford a Rubio-like boat named the "Slice of Life" then, too, should a U.S. Senator by the name of Rubio.  Of course, this is not to imply that Rubio, like Dexter, is a murderer who dumps Palmetto bug bodies off the coast of  Florida.

I think Rubio should wear those NYT stories as badges of honor.  It shows he is a threat to liberals as being the next President.  Even though, the stories themselves are trivial when compared to others who have run for President.  But, don't underestimate the tenacity of the "Times" to catch Rubio doing something bigger.  Right now, they probably have operatives counting the number of flushes in his home.  Seeing if he or his wife calls for paper or plastic when they're checking out at the grocery store, or if he environmentally drinks tap water or selfishly drinks bottled water.  Even, worst yet, does he pickup after his dog poops. And, the dog being another mystery that media is infatuated with. Maybe he stole it? Is it still alive? These are deep questions that need to be asked and answered.

So much to do and so little time before Rubio might get the nomination as the GOP presidential candidate.

References:

Rubio and wife received 17 traffic tickets: http://newsbusters.org/blogs/kyle-drennen/2015/06/08/ny-times-reporter-rubio-traffic-ticket-story-why-people-dont-run

Rubio's 'luxury speedboat' is a fishing boat - POLITICO: https://www.google.com/search?q=rubio+speed+boat&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

NYT: Marco Rubio Is Totally Irresponsible Because He Bought a Fishing Boat in Florida:  http://townhall.com/tipsheet/katiepavlich/2015/06/09/nyt-the-rubios-were-totally-broke-when-they-were-younger-guys-n2010147

The 'Slice of Life': Dexter's Boat:  http://dexter.wikia.com/wiki/The_Slice_of_Life

Hillary Clinton Hasn't Driven a Car Since 1996 - The Atlantic: http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/01/hillary-clinton-hasnt-driven-a-car-since-1996/283375/

Who Is the Mystery Dog in Sen. Marco Rubio's House?: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ryan-nickum/mystery-dog-marco-rubio_b_2686769.html